Becoming a New Mom

Being a mom was always a plan of mine. I remember being a little girl playing with my baby dolls, my sisters and I playing mommy. We had so many fun times dreaming about the future!

When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited and scared. I think what most people don’t talk about, is the feeling of inadequacy that comes with those two beautiful blue lines. You can do all the planning and hoping, but nothing can truly prepare you for being a parent. A part of me knew that. But what I didn’t know was that I would feel I wasn’t ready to be a mom yet. One day I was one person, totally free, and could do whatever I wanted. The next, I was suddenly responsible for another human being. Now I had to think of my baby’s needs before my own. It was all about the baby now.

There’s so much doubt at first. You wonder if you really have what it takes. You realize that you are someone’s lifeline, and he or she will depend on you for food, water, oxygen, and so much more. It changes everything.

And then there’s the plethora of information that invades your life. Everyone wants to tell you what to do, offer ‘suggestions’ and comment on your body. You start to read about what you should or shouldn’t do, and it’s overwhelming.

You think you have plenty of time to get ready for the arrival of your little one. You have 9 months! I thought there was so much time to get used to the idea. But day by day, my due date came closer. It went by so fast!

One morning I woke up and my water had broken. We went to the hospital and our little Kit William was born 23 hours later. He is the sweetest baby.

I’ll never forget the feeling when they handed my son to me. I could not stop crying and laughing. He was so tiny, so fragile. And his little squeaky cry melted my heart! He was finally here, and I never wanted to let him go.

Now none of the other things matter. I still worry for his safety, of course, but all of the details sort of fade away when your child comes into your arms.